Setting Healthy Boundaries for the Holidays

Brittany Garcia, LCPC

As the holidays approach, many of us find ourselves pulled between joy and rising stress. Whether it’s coordinating travel, hosting guests, obligated family time, managing finances, or resurfacing past trauma, this time of year can quickly become overwhelming.
Add in boundaries being repeatedly crossed, and it can quickly feel like too much. Let’s explore how you can take care of your mental health during the holiday season and create space for meaningful (not just obligatory) connection with those around you.

1. Acknowledge the Stress—It’s Real
Holiday stress isn't just in your head. According to the American Psychological Association, a significant number of adults report heightened stress levels during the holidays. Financial pressures, family conflict, and time demands top the list.

Check in with yourself:
- What are my current stressors?
- What expectations are adding pressure? 
- Am I dreading any interactions or events? 

2. Define Your Limits Before You're in the Moment
Boundaries are not walls; they’re guideposts for what you will and will not accept in your relationships. During the holidays, it’s especially helpful to set them proactively.

Examples of healthy holiday boundaries:
- Time: "I can only stay for two hours, but I would love to catch up during that time!"
- Topics: "I will not talk about politics during dinner"
- Space: “We’re keeping Christmas morning just for our immediate family this year.”
- Emotional energy: “I’m not available to mediate or be involved in family conflicts this year”

You owe it to yourself to protect your peace.

3. Prepare for Pushback
Not everyone will understand or support your boundaries, especially if they’re new. That’s okay. People who benefit from your lack of boundaries may feel uncomfortable when you start enforcing them.

"I understand that this may be upsetting, but I am taking care of myself this year and I hope you can respect that."

You are not in control of their reaction, but you are in control of taking care of yourself. 

4. Create New Traditions That Serve You
If old traditions cause more harm than joy, consider starting new ones.

That might mean:
- Celebrate with friends or chosen family instead.
- Volunteer, shift the focus outward 
- Create space for downtime and self-care alone. 
- Host something low pressure and low effort, like a potluck. 

Traditions should evolve with your needs—not trap you in cycles that no longer serve you.

5. Self Care is Not Optional. 
Your nervous system needs rest and regulation. 

- Sleep and hydrate
- Move; go on a walk or stretch
- Create space to decompress.
- Participate in activities that feel happy or meaningful

6. Seek Support 
You don’t have to go through the season alone. Whether you’re dealing with grief, difficult family dynamics, or simply feeling overwhelmed, talking through it can help you gain clarity and emotional support. 

- Schedule Therapy
- Find a Support Group
- Schedule time with friends or other Supports
- Identify and communicate your needs

At Restorative Connections Counseling, we’re here to help you navigate the holidays with intention, boundaries, and a deeper connection to what really matters to you.